The War On Nipples, Or The 2010 British Elections

By Darryl Mason

Brits have gone to the polls today to elect a new government. As you may already be aware, the rise of the Liberal Democrats party to almost equal pegging with prime minister Gordon Brown's Labour Party shows just what sort of chaos and excitement the rise of a viable third party in an entrenched two party systems can generate. Brits, for the first time in a long time, actually give a shit about who is going to run their country, through what will turn out to be some of the most financial miserable periods for the country since the end of World War 2.

The Labour Party and the Conservative Party both shit themselves, and the ultra-wealthy and society-privileged puked on their shoes, when Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg suddenly rose off the back of a successful (for him) live TV debate to score front page and evening news leads nervously asking 'Could This Man Become Prime Minister?'

Think about that for moment. Barely a few weeks out from an election that was widely tipped to be won by the Conservative Party, a viable third party has broken through, rocking the media, the elite, the entire election. Just like that.

Nick Clegg won't become prime minister, unless the 1 in 3 Brits who said they remain undecided as to how they would vote, on election eve, turn out to closet Cleggians, but he will most certainly receive a credible, powerful ministerial post. Foreign Secretary Nick Clegg sounds about right. Which is going to cause all sorts of chaos for those who wish to extend the War On Terror to the War On Iran.

Out of all the media coverage, you surely can't go past The Sun on election eve for the most base kind of fearmongering in their campaign to have the Conservative Party win so Rupert Murdoch will get his dream of a defunded BBC.

No, The Sun didn't say voting for Labour or Liberal Democrats will leave Britain vulnerable to Islamic terrorism (well, at least they didn't yesterday), none of the standards.

They came up with the one Big Fear The Sun's most dedicated readers would scream murderous rage over as they run for the polling booths to vote Conservative.

Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown want to take away women's nipples.

That's the nipples of the mostly teenage girls who appear every day on Page 3 of The Sun. Those rotten Lefties want to take the topless out of The Sun's Topless Page 3 Girls. No major issues of social order can beat that. This is how lowly and base Rupert Murdoch's editors think the readership really is. The threat is clear, if you don't vote Conservative, you'll lose the tits.

The Sun :

Page 3 Girls in all their glory represent the very image of freedom in this country.

But if Labour or the Lib Dems win the election, this could be the last time they are allowed to pose together.

(Labour and Lib Dem MPs) will move swiftly to change the law and ban Page 3 forever.

Our national treasures - who even enjoy the Royal seal of approval from our future King Prince Charles - will be no more.

And at a stroke the very liberties that put the Great into Great Britain will be torn asunder.

Remember, according to Rupert Murdoch, the nipples of teenage girls represent Freedom and Liberty.

Here's the front page of The Sun on British Elections Day 2010 :



And here's a few other great front pages from election day :







This will be the last time that British newspapers will be able to claim with any kind of seriousness that they control or even majorly influence who gets to be Prime Minister.